Tweezers

Today I found my teeezers.

In the sippy cup drawer.

It's the little things.

Cosmas was so excited for getting three dollars from his uncle for cleaning up the yard.  Definitely worthy of a trip to the consignment store.  I loved watching him pick out a set of Kinex.  Dear God, please let ALL the pieces be included!!!! None the less, he was excited to find a blue Lego piece hidden in the box. 

The little things.  

Two doctors appointments.  Robin was able to get two kids in back to back.  One trip. Two kids. I will take it.  

Coz decided to take up juggling frisbees. (therapist recommended) 

Waiting room juggling act. Only rolled under ladies chair once.  

Looked over at Z today. 

Leaned up against car door.  

Converse that were dyed with a black sharpie marker.  

Space buns...

One earphone in.  

I have learned that she can carry on an entire conversation while listening to music. 

Opening Up car Mirror to check out her braces.  

I always wonder what's going through that mind of hers. 

Dropped her off for her babysitting job. Watched her walk in. I smiled.   

Got gas.  Cleaned out car. Well scooped out what I could.  Entire deck of cards falls out one by one onto puddle stricken cement.  52 emoji faces smiling at me. Raining.  

Little things.   

Anthony gave john a bath.  Got him fully dressed.  I was impressed.  Then I got his text.....

Ya big struggle trying to get all of johns clothes on while trying not to lose the game on Xbox but I did it

Thank you Anthony. 

Goodnight.  

 

 

Waves

deep breath....

calm yourself... Mommy loves you....the meltdown begins.....

up and down riding the waves hoping he will let my words in.....i try nonverbal ways....

stuck......

sirens.....

restraining...

paramedics arrive.....take his blood pressure and his eyes fixate on the numbers..... which calms him...

silence...

he starts his breathing techniques on his own......

good job Cosmas


calming down.......

deep breath.......

We are good now... just another wave.... that we have to ride together......

I've got you Coz.....

Day 3

i figure if i call them "meltdowns" instead of "rage episodes" it might transform something......Worth a shot......
language.....anything to help unlock that little beautiful mind of his....

DAY 3.....

Took Zofia to the ortho this morning.....Its nice to grab a min of one on one time when you can.... Took a pit stop at Lamars to grab a donut.... Hey, Zofia, thank you for all your help with Coz... you really know how to speak his language....I feel like it takes a "animal/ baby" whisperer type of skill to do this... almost jedi like.....It's a gift Zofia.... use it......

Next appointment..... Let's just say it was one of those choose your battles kind of days... John had his size 18 month, Ninja Turtle, buck tight, belly showing, pj shirt on with sweat pants.... no socks..... pancake eating face......van wearing boy... I was actually proud he had pants on and shoes.... Coz on the other hand.... had his pants on backwards... i thought they looked fantastic.....Dr....did one blonde joke... like always... little does he know that this is box of 8.99 loreal i tried to be blonde hair look......He made some wise crack about how it was a good thing i was not a soldier bc of my bleeding condition.... mind you this appointment is for John's what I like to call wookie eye......extropia...Excuse me Dr...Bob I AM A SOLDIER...ITS CALLED BEING A MOTHER......

Elevator... I knew it was going to happen.... I saw it coming the look on his face...... The elevator door opened. Beautiful African American family just doing their thing waiting for their floor....... John uncomfortably stares at them..... points and says BLACK....Awkward silence..... I instantly think oh my son is culturally deprived and sheltered... He needs to get out more... Ok.. wait... he is two...hmmmm. Stop overthinking.....

yes that happened....

What a better way to end the day...... Kids and kid's friends lets go to Skate City!!!.... 7 Kids... One mother......

I felt a sense of normalcy at the skate rink... Loud kids falling all over the place in front of me..... One little boy ate it near me and you know what, i actually laughed then I realized I should have helped the poor kid.....I was laughing at the reality of people putting wheels on their feet to roll around......I became amazed at the talent and seriousness that is involed in the sport of roller skating.....People can really get into it... So fantastic....

Get home..... Front door wide open.. Yep for three hours.. Heat on high.... Wind blowing straight through the house... Come on in strangers... Are house is welcome to all....At least it had a fresh scent....

Sitting here in a quiet house... while kids are at gas station getting slur pies... Yes slur pies........Good they made it back alive......

Day Two

Day two of Spring Break with 4 kids....

Grocery shopping while two boys were literally crawling out of the big plastic car ( lets try to distract our kids while we shop in peace and quiet) shopping cart..A lady actually said, " Your boys are being so good..." I thought to myself... lady they have only been in there for two minutes......Tick tock tick tock... Two minuets later on the dot...... Two people on separate occasions looked and me and said, " Oh it gets better." I thought to myself what isn't BETTER than this!!! Is this not the norm? Am I immune to noise and choas.....

At the doctors office..... "YES!!!!!.... Robin, (the polished receptionist) we have been here every week for 6 weeks"!!!!
just the usual...... strep throat two kids...pink eye..impetigo ..med adjustment..asthma.....and today an ear stitched up..... 

This appointment was special bc i got to sit with Coz in a silent waiting room.... enjoying his two jokes that he has told me probably 59 times within the past two days..... Sat there listening to him....He gets so frustrated when i don't laugh every time.... sooooo i laughed again or at least tried... honestly, i wanted to cry.... Stitched up his ear.....he didn't even flench....or shed a tear.... i wanted say wow, what a brave boy but instead fought back the tears.....the reality of sensory issues reared its head....searching all the time for light bulb moments.... which i received two this week... small blessings.......

"John, what is that boiling noise?"..... JOHN what did you put in the microwave and why is the timer SET for 46 MINUTES?!!! Open it and find a bowl of water and pepper boiling over........I think to myself....where was I??? Wait,,, talking Coz through a meltdown about another joke that i didn't laugh hard enough at......

NOW...... Coz is crawling on my shoulder telling me that he "loves me more than anything..." Sigh.... thank you Coz.....

Lightbulb moments this week:

Coz's therapist..... " His world is based on fear....causing anxiety"....... That hit it home for me......I am beginning to see him in a different light now...... am learning how to get into his reality daily....but this is difficult.......

My school advisor....." Each child is different and needs to be parented differently..."

hmmmmm. This gave me freedom to tell the oldest three yes, Coz is different but we ALL are........in OUR own ways....

Well, time to get back to reality.....or simply back into each one of my children's VERY different realities.....